Depression hurts

I am sure you have seen the commercial about depression. You know the one that says "depression hurts". Well it does. It also affects all you do and everyone you interact with.

This has been a difficult time for me. I can dance all around looking for answers to why I am where I am but the answer is I am working my way through a darkness. My actual diagnosis is Bipolar Disorder but that is for another day when I am ready to be a little more transparent.

I've struggled with depression for a while. There are up times and down times. The holidays are always hard but this year seems to be even harder. I am not sure why and I may never know why.

I do know that there are four things that keep me going; God, my children, the knowledge that brighter days are ahead and good friends. The kind of friends who don't judge, who love me for who I am. Friends who are always there, who sense when things just aren't right and those friends who will spend a full day sending text messages back and forth. Thank you!

If you are struggling with depression reach out, seek a good therapist, surround yourself with people who care and RUN to God. He will hold you in his arms until you can stand on your own again.

Blank pages

Sometimes the words just are not there. For me that has been the last two months. I have spent many hours sitting in front of my laptop only to shut it down without having typed one word. I have spent equally as many hours trying to figure out why the words have gone.

I thought, "maybe blogging was not for me" only, this was affecting more than my blogs. Anything I needed to create was blank. There had to be a reason - maybe if I just tried harder...

No - what I needed to do was to focus. Not on where the words went or why they went but put my focus back on God. There I said it. I stopped putting God first. I was so caught up in "me" that I pushed "Him" out. It was just about that time when the words dried up.

It's amazing what happens when you lose your focus but even MORE amazing what happens when you get your act together and refocus....