During the first conversation I was reminded that I can't let people get inside my head and that is exactly what I have been doing. Allowing them to pressure me to think the way they want me to. Everything from thinking my blogs are dark to the state of my head and heart. Not any more. It is time to listen and process but not let it consume me.
The second conversation happened today and I have been thinking about it all day. A friend who is wise beyond his years offered this analogy when I told him I am walking in a spiritual desert - far from God - that I had turned my back.
He said think of it like a swimming pool. The kind that gradually slopes down from the shallow end to the deep end. I have been playing and swimming in the shallow end for a long time. Slowly I began to move toward that deep end. Not really noticing I was going down that gradual slope until I no longer could reach the bottom. My footing was gone and I was treading water.
I am tired. I am having trouble treading water. I am slowly going under. The lifeguard - God - is right there. All I have to do is cry out and he will save me. But I can't or won't or don't remember how. So here I am still treading water - getting more and more tired - but STILL remembering the lifeguard is always on duty. I just need to call out...
